Valentine's Day All Year Round: Loving Your Husband

I once attended a homeschool conference talk on "Keeping Your Marriage Fresh While Homeschooling," or something like that. The speaker was Elizabeth Smith,  wife of Michael Smith, head of HSLDA. Now I want to set the scene here. Mrs. Smith is a lovely, dignified, refined, older woman. Her standing-room only audience was enormous. And diverse. There were young homeschool moms in blue jeans, some stereotypical ones in out-of-date jumpers, everything in between, and, since this is Indiana, plenty of plain clothes Mennonites. Then to make it even more awkward, there were even a scattering of men in the audience, despite this talk having been promoted as one for women.

Mrs. Smith had provided detailed notes to accompany her lecture, and as I glanced down the list, I noticed that of course she had not neglected sex. But what in the world would she say to this large and assorted crowd? I imagined the Amish-Mennonites getting up and walking out in horror. And the closer she came to that point, the more I squirmed. I was not alone. The listeners seemed tense as she moved into that point.

No fear. Ever poised, Mrs. Smith came to #5 (or whatever) on her list, surveyed her crowd and said, "I'm only going to say one thing about this. Just - do -  it!" And she paused for everyone to take that in. Perfect, I thought! She couldn't have said it any better for this group.

For sure, so much more can be said about the importance of physical intimacy in marriage. But I like Mrs. Smith's advice. Sometimes that's all we need to remember. Just do it! Give yourself to your husband. (Likewise, he is commanded to give himself to you.) Let your lovemaking be fun, sweet, tender, exuberant, and joyous. Oh yes, and frequent! And guess what? Married intimacy is one of those "good wine" kind of things. As you give yourselves to one another and grow in sacrificial love,  walking through all the trials and delights of raising a family together, your lovemaking will only become more of a haven and joy all through the years. If you think the 20s are sweet, just wait for your 40s and 50s!

Now here's an excellent article written by an Australian woman about loving your husband physically.

So how can you experience Valentine's Day all year long? Just do it!


I Cor. 7: 3-5 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.